Jun. 23rd, 2012

fiat_knox: silhouette of myself taken at sunrise (Default)
"It is within that ambiguity that my brothers and I exist. We are dreamers, shapers, singers and makers. We study the mysteries of laser and circuit, crystal and scanner. Holographic demons and invocations of equations. These are the tools we employ, and we know many things."

"Such as?"

"The true secrets. The important things.

"Fourteen words to make someone fall in love with you forever. Seven words to make them go without pain, or to say goodbye to a friend who is dying.

"How to be poor. How to be rich. How to ... rediscover dreams, when the world has stolen them from you."


-- Elric and Sheridan, "The Geometry of Shadows," Babylon 5, season 2

I was pretty heavily into B5, and also enormously heavily into Mage: the Ascension, back in the day. My all time favourite Tradition book was the holographic-covered Cult of Ecstasy Tradition book written by Phil Brucato.

Gods, I loved Mage. I love Mage, I love B5 and I love the entire above episode - that, and the one with the Explorer ship that got lost in hyperspace, mostly because of Delenn's Saganesque speech about how we are all starstuff. "We are the universe made manifest, trying to figure itself out."

It has been some time since those delights were current in the world, white-hot and brilliant, shining beacons in my firmament. But in all that time their light has not diminished.

Nor has my life.

I spend my days and nights creating. I would like to get published some day, but in order to do that I might as well make a bunch of stuff available, even if online. Even if it nets me nothing, it's still my stuff, and I am proud of it, and I can create links to publishers so they can read, and decide for themselves whether they can give me a contract to write the awesome stuff I want to write that will be my vocation; the thing I do for a living.

And while it has been a very long time since I picked up that battered copy of Cult of Ecstasy, its cover is still holographic and shiny, its contents still beautiful in my mind, the line artwork by Leif Jones a reminder of an earlier, joyful time for me.

I was alone at that time. Between jobs. Between lovers. But I was brilliant inside. Shining. Resplendent. And the world never knew. The world could never know, because I was all too aware of the ignorance and violence which would have burned that brilliance out of me, turned me into an ash-filled husk like them, bereft of all joy.

Phil, I have learned the Code of Ananda and made it my own. JMS, I have learned how to be poor; how to be rich.

I have not "rediscovered my dreams when the world has stolen them from me." I have never allowed my dreams to be stolen from me. Furthermore, I have even helped others to rediscover theirs.

And that has been one of the purposes of my life.

Do you believe there is such a thing as magic?

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