![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
And Now, Humour
Jul. 31st, 2008 06:54 pm... Some old, old humour. Indeed, some very, very old humour.
The world's oldest recorded jokes, as a matter of fact.
The Oldest Joke, dating back to Iraq, c. 1900 BC. Translated from the original Sumerian, it reads thus:-
"Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."
The second oldest joke comes from Egypt, dates to 1600 BC (don't tell me they only knew ONE JOKE for 300 YEARS! Fuck me, their standup routines must've been rubbish!) and it reads thus, again translated from the original:-
"How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."
Note, you could only urge the Pharaoh. If you tried to command him, he'd have sewn your lips together and cut out your eyes. *rimshot*
Apparently, this joke was popular in the reign of Pharaoh Snofru. Remember, lips, eyes ... you didn't laugh at the Pharaoh either, or he'd have sewn live maggots into your mouth first.
And now, Britain's oldest joke, a 10th Century Anglo-Saxon effort:-
"What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key."
As to what has been found to be the funniest joke in the world, the current record holder is this one:-
"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?". - The late Spike Milligan, who had the last laugh on us all.
Ai thankyew.
My ambition, right now, is to learn how to pronounce the world's oldest joke in the original Sumerian. Because I've got to. :D
( Even more behind here ... )
From the Yahoo News article:-
"Jokes have varied over the years, with some taking the question and answer format while others are witty proverbs or riddles," said the report's writer Dr Paul McDonald, senior lecturer at the university.
"What they all share however, is a willingness to deal with taboos and a degree of rebellion. Modern puns, Essex girl jokes and toilet humor can all be traced back to the very earliest jokes identified in this research."
The world's oldest recorded jokes, as a matter of fact.
The Oldest Joke, dating back to Iraq, c. 1900 BC. Translated from the original Sumerian, it reads thus:-
"Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."
The second oldest joke comes from Egypt, dates to 1600 BC (don't tell me they only knew ONE JOKE for 300 YEARS! Fuck me, their standup routines must've been rubbish!) and it reads thus, again translated from the original:-
"How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."
Note, you could only urge the Pharaoh. If you tried to command him, he'd have sewn your lips together and cut out your eyes. *rimshot*
Apparently, this joke was popular in the reign of Pharaoh Snofru. Remember, lips, eyes ... you didn't laugh at the Pharaoh either, or he'd have sewn live maggots into your mouth first.
And now, Britain's oldest joke, a 10th Century Anglo-Saxon effort:-
"What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key."
As to what has been found to be the funniest joke in the world, the current record holder is this one:-
"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?". - The late Spike Milligan, who had the last laugh on us all.
Ai thankyew.
My ambition, right now, is to learn how to pronounce the world's oldest joke in the original Sumerian. Because I've got to. :D
( Even more behind here ... )
From the Yahoo News article:-
"Jokes have varied over the years, with some taking the question and answer format while others are witty proverbs or riddles," said the report's writer Dr Paul McDonald, senior lecturer at the university.
"What they all share however, is a willingness to deal with taboos and a degree of rebellion. Modern puns, Essex girl jokes and toilet humor can all be traced back to the very earliest jokes identified in this research."
