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Behind Bars
Jul. 25th, 2010 06:43 pmTypical of us useless Brits.
Our convicts, mostly people like us who just made some stupid mistake and got caught, have as much of a right to laugh as everybody else. Particularly at the stupidity that got them locked up in the first place. If you cannot laugh, you resent. If you resent, you reoffend - the second time out of defiance, and then again out of the sheer joy of "living outside the stuffy law" and "sticking it to the Man."
The Minijust under the last government, driven by knee jerk reactions to Paul Dacre's toxic right wing broadsheet The Daily Fail, banned things like prison comedy shows and parties - and when the current minister tried to lift the ban this week he got slapped down. And now the MoJ wants to change things so that lags can reduce their sentence if they choose to go before the victims' families and apologise.
"You were right, Society. We were so so wrong and we are so sorry. Please whip us again and again and keep on hurting us after we have paid our debt to you in full."
Sackcloth and ashes and sadomasochistic self-flagellation!
I tell you what, the lags behind bars won't let this stop them laughing.
If this is the worst this incestuous ConDem Nation coalition government can come up with for punishment, they must be run by a right bunch of sick fucking Puritanical perverts.
And you know what the cure for Puritanism is? Two fingers in their faces, untempered laughter and a hearty "FUCK YOU!"
Which I heartily recommend for any of the poor bastards stuck behind bars tonight. Okay, so some of you have done some stupid, evil shite. Robbery, murder, even rape. But a lot of you - most of you - are probably stuck there doing minor stir. Assault, prostitution, not paying your TV license, getting caught in the middle of some protest against G20, or downloading PDFs of documents containing information "glorifying terrorism."
This is not Turkey or Abu Dhabi. We're the United Kingdom, Britain, a nation of glorious and not so glorious bastards, scofflaws and dissenters. Dissent twines its way like a thick black cord, like the glossy scaly back of the Serpent, throughout our long and checquered history.
Hear my words when I say that I advocate defiance. I advocate dissent. I advocate disobedience, and illegal gatherings of people in places where they should not be for the express purpose of dressing up in funny costumes and cracking rib tickling jokes.
Let sounds of jollity and mirth resound within our prison walls, and let those jaded cunts in suburbia grind their teeth in misery and frustration as should be their lot.
Prisoners, it's your turn to tell us to go to Hell.
Our convicts, mostly people like us who just made some stupid mistake and got caught, have as much of a right to laugh as everybody else. Particularly at the stupidity that got them locked up in the first place. If you cannot laugh, you resent. If you resent, you reoffend - the second time out of defiance, and then again out of the sheer joy of "living outside the stuffy law" and "sticking it to the Man."
The Minijust under the last government, driven by knee jerk reactions to Paul Dacre's toxic right wing broadsheet The Daily Fail, banned things like prison comedy shows and parties - and when the current minister tried to lift the ban this week he got slapped down. And now the MoJ wants to change things so that lags can reduce their sentence if they choose to go before the victims' families and apologise.
"You were right, Society. We were so so wrong and we are so sorry. Please whip us again and again and keep on hurting us after we have paid our debt to you in full."
Sackcloth and ashes and sadomasochistic self-flagellation!
I tell you what, the lags behind bars won't let this stop them laughing.
If this is the worst this incestuous ConDem Nation coalition government can come up with for punishment, they must be run by a right bunch of sick fucking Puritanical perverts.
And you know what the cure for Puritanism is? Two fingers in their faces, untempered laughter and a hearty "FUCK YOU!"
Which I heartily recommend for any of the poor bastards stuck behind bars tonight. Okay, so some of you have done some stupid, evil shite. Robbery, murder, even rape. But a lot of you - most of you - are probably stuck there doing minor stir. Assault, prostitution, not paying your TV license, getting caught in the middle of some protest against G20, or downloading PDFs of documents containing information "glorifying terrorism."
This is not Turkey or Abu Dhabi. We're the United Kingdom, Britain, a nation of glorious and not so glorious bastards, scofflaws and dissenters. Dissent twines its way like a thick black cord, like the glossy scaly back of the Serpent, throughout our long and checquered history.
Hear my words when I say that I advocate defiance. I advocate dissent. I advocate disobedience, and illegal gatherings of people in places where they should not be for the express purpose of dressing up in funny costumes and cracking rib tickling jokes.
Let sounds of jollity and mirth resound within our prison walls, and let those jaded cunts in suburbia grind their teeth in misery and frustration as should be their lot.
Prisoners, it's your turn to tell us to go to Hell.
