Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley nee Godwin - born August 30, 1797

The author of Frankenstein was born on this day back in 1797. She would be 213 right now.

The Vampire Song - A Parody

The Vampire Song
(Based on "The Hippopotamus Song" [MIDI file] by Flanders & Swann)

Past sunset and nightfall, the vampires come out
And wander about on the hunt.
They kill to survive; there's no larking about.
For a Kindred, the truth can be blunt.

From Princes to Harpies, from Sheriff to Hounds,
They go hunting and feeding all night.
For when the dust clears, when they've faced down their fears, there's
One substance for which they'll all fight.

Blood! Blood! Glorious blood!
Bite down and drink that arterial flood!
Tonight and tomorrow, there's no time for sorrow!
That scent they all follow is glorious blood!

The Prince rules the city from his vantage on high.
With his servants, he rules from his Court.
His dry, bony fingers pierce every damned pie;
He's so clever, he never gets caught.

He rules on all disputes; he parcels out land.
He can either be cruel or be kind.
Yet when he's on his own, and he's dry as a bone,
There is only one thing on his mind.

Blood! Blood! Glorious blood!
Bite down and drink that arterial flood!
Tonight and tomorrow, there's no time for sorrow!
That scent they all follow is glorious blood!

The Clans of the Kindred - there are only five -
Pass down the old Curse to their own.
The Gangrel are beastly - they like prey alive,
To strip them of blood to the bone.

The Daeva are deviants, the Ventrue are mad,
The Mekhet hate sunlight and flame.
The Nos are all ugly, all creepy and bugly,
But they all have one thought on their brain.

Blood! Blood! Glorious blood!
Bite down and drink that arterial flood!
Tonight and tomorrow, there's no time for sorrow!
That scent they all follow is glorious blood!

Elysium's the place where the Kindred hang out.
It's the place to be seen every night.
They put on their best and they let it all out.
There are rules against picking a fight.

Yet under the makeup, the clothes and the bling,
There's the call of the Predator's Taint.
Beneath all the posing, imposing, opposing,
One bite and there goes your restraint-

Blood! Blood! Glorious blood!
Bite down and drink that arterial flood!
Tonight and tomorrow, there's no time for sorrow!
That scent they all follow is glorious blood!

The Kindred have Disciplines to help them attract
And overwhelm terrified prey.
Like Auspex and Majesty and Nightmare, in fact,
They keep mortals from going astray.

Now Animalism can talk to the beasts
And the others are all just as weird,
But no powers so frighten, cause sphincters to tighten,
As the drink for which vampires are feared.

Blood! Blood! Glorious blood!
Bite down and drink that arterial flood!
Tonight and tomorrow, there's no time for sorrow!
That scent they all follow is glorious blood!