![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
- Wed, 13:27: Caganerwatch 2012 - "Twat" #yulefail… http://t.co/lPQz1KxN
- Wed, 13:34: Caganerwatch 2012 Supplemental - "Hang on ..."… http://t.co/7zgyTCtn
Dec. 6th, 2012
Pain Last Night
Dec. 6th, 2012 03:10 pmLast night, I could hardly get a wink of sleep for the pain that began around noon yesterday afternoon. It was a lousy pain, that started on the right side around the back, and that spread forwards to a point on my right side just beneath the diaphragm.
I thought it was a bad case of indigestion. However, nothing I took could shift the damned thing, until this morning when I realised that it was actually a pulled back muscle.
Based on that hypothesis, I went into the kitchen, pulled down some tiger balm - Sean's tiger balm, another thing my brother no longer has any need for - and applied it to my back.
The pain was gone within five minutes.
I thought it was a bad case of indigestion. However, nothing I took could shift the damned thing, until this morning when I realised that it was actually a pulled back muscle.
Based on that hypothesis, I went into the kitchen, pulled down some tiger balm - Sean's tiger balm, another thing my brother no longer has any need for - and applied it to my back.
The pain was gone within five minutes.
"The future of Christmas has been plunged into uncertainty after Father Christmas became the latest person to be arrested as part of the Jimmy Savile investigations.
Scotland Yard said officers had arrested a man in his 390s “on suspicion of sexual offences”, and had taken him to a central London police station.
Mr Christmas is the seventh person to be questioned as part of Operation Yewtree.
The news has come as a shock to the public who are still reeling from allegations made against Jimmy Savile, Stuart Hall and 3-2-1′s Dusty Bin ... More ...
The Riverside Baptist [joke]
Dec. 6th, 2012 11:23 pmThis guy manages to get drunk while on holiday in Jordan. As he's stumbling around, he comes across a riverbank and some preacher standing there in the water up to his knees, nothing but a white robe, long beard, long hair, screaming about giving people baptisms.
So the guy says "I'm game. What do I do?"
"I stick your head under the water," the guy says, "until you see Jesus."
So the guy gets into the water and the fellow ducks his head under. Pulls him out. "Have you seen Jesus?" the guy asks the drunk.
"No!" the drunk goes. So he gets ducked again, this time for longer.
"Have you seen Jesus?" the guy asks.
"No!" the drunk goes. So he gets ducked again, this time for even longer. The guy is flailing, almost passing out; then the fellow pulls him out and grips him by the lapels.
"HAVE YOU SEEN JESUS?" he screams.
Drunk, half drowned, the guy replies "No! Are you absolutely sure this is where he fell in?"
I'll be here all week. Try the veal.
So the guy says "I'm game. What do I do?"
"I stick your head under the water," the guy says, "until you see Jesus."
So the guy gets into the water and the fellow ducks his head under. Pulls him out. "Have you seen Jesus?" the guy asks the drunk.
"No!" the drunk goes. So he gets ducked again, this time for longer.
"Have you seen Jesus?" the guy asks.
"No!" the drunk goes. So he gets ducked again, this time for even longer. The guy is flailing, almost passing out; then the fellow pulls him out and grips him by the lapels.
"HAVE YOU SEEN JESUS?" he screams.
Drunk, half drowned, the guy replies "No! Are you absolutely sure this is where he fell in?"
I'll be here all week. Try the veal.