A Parody

First of all, the original article.

And now, the parody:-

( Behind this cut )

Moral Quandary

From stereotypist:-



I dunno, but I found it amusing.

Until I imagine what it would be like if somebody who did not know me or mine got a hold of that box with the button on it ...

The Great Escape - NOT!

Apparently, the footage below shows Justin Beiber's doomed attempt to escape a thousand fangirls that (a) obviously have a vast social network on their mobile phones, and (b) can outrun a Segway.

Hells, I could outrun a Segway with both my feet tied together ...

So here it is. The funniest Justin Bieber video you will ever see:-

Not a fail - a WIN!

Mutant Cat

New Songs I Hate

I have a list of songs that I hate. These range from Doris Day's Que Sera Sera" through to more modern anthems of loathesomness.

Two things characterise the songs that I hate.

One, everybody knows the words.

Two, when somebody plays these songs everybody perks up and sings along except me. I grit my teeth, walk away or, if I cannot walk away, look for somebodything to kill.

Some examples:-

Hey Jude - The Beatles

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. - Aretha Franklin

Chapel Of Love - Dixie Cups

You're Having My Baby - Paul Anka

I'm In The Mood (For Dancin') - The Nolan Sisters

Dancin' Queen - Abba

Mamma Mia - Abba

The Winner Takes It All - Abba

I'm starting to sense a pattern here. Okay, bloody EVERYTHING by Abba. That saves on space.

Uptown Girl - Billy Joel

Thriller - Michael Jackson

I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston

Everything I Do (I Do It For You) - Bryan Adams

My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion

I'll Be There for You - Theme Tune from Friends

That Don't Impress Me Much - Shania Twain

Man, I Feel Like A Woman - Shania Twain

All Night Long - Lionel Richie

Don't feel Like Dancin' - Scissor Sisters

Push The Button - Sugababes

Ruby - Kaiser Chiefs

It's Raining Men - the remake by Geri Halliwell

It's Raining Men - The Weather Girls

Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves - Annie Lennox and Aretha Franklin

Faith - George Michael

Careless Whisper - George Michael

Dontcha - Pussycat Dolls

Beat Again - JLS

New York - Alicia Keyes

The list is not really exhaustive. It doesn't cover every tiresome theme tune or soundtrack poached to serve as the music track for an advert selling car insurance or banking services. It doesn't cover every tiresome act forced down our ears by the likes of Cowell & Co. - just the few dreary acts listed above.

However, one song recently really makes me seethe. It has been adopted round here by every grunting cider-swilling skinhead lumpen bam, numpty and ned (to borrow from rhionnach's vocabulary) in the region.

It's I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas.

I find myself loathing that with a concentrated hatred that exceeds the sum of my loathing of all of the above combined, doubled.

And just this evening, Mum has some stupid show hosted by John Barrowman. What song did he open this showtunes atrocity extravaganza with? Take a wild fucking guess.

Oh, Crom bastarding wept, they're butchering "To Dream The Impossible Dream" now. I wish I could have my tear ducts rerouted through to my salivary glands like Molly Millions of William Gibson's Neuromancer. I've certainly been spitting enough into a hankie these last few minutes.