Deluges And Bad Dreams

So. I awoke about an hour and three quarters ago, after another night of restive, fitful sleep plagued by bloody weird dreams.

The other night, in one of my nightmares, myself and some people I knew from a former workplace were captured in a van. I was told by this man that I had to use some sort of superpower I had to increase the rate of surface water evaporation from the rivers Dee and Mersey, and from a large stretch of the North Wales and Northwest England coasts, to create an intense, driving rain.

I asked him what the stick was - the carrot obviously being "You get to live." He showed me the five former work colleagues, and said "Obey me or they will suffer."

Cue mirth from me, and a comment that as sticks go, that offer looked more like a carrot; I then told him that because he'd actually amused me, I'd do exactly as he asked, for free. One puzzled, confused, mad baron of evil.

And then, of course, I awoke at 6am and Britain was under bloody water. A cold, drab, unbelievably miserable, rainy day of bucketing-it-down as far as London. And my first word when I woke up and saw the news on the TV was "Whoops. I may have overdone it a bit. I hope Baron von Evil won't be too upset."

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• Sat, 07:53: Deluges And Bad Dreams… http://t.co/tqsH9G20

Menaces

When you hear people nowadays talking about some of Jimmy Savile's posthumous accusers as if it were somehow their fault, some days you just have to intervene.

These birther types have such fucking charming arguments such as the follows:-

"Oh, you know what fourteen and fifteen year olds are like at that age. Full of hormones. Just nothing in their heads but sex sex sex. Especially the girls."

"I bet some of them knew what they were doing, especially if they thought it would get them a shot at the big time."

"I know of two girls that age, and old Mr Derwent (not his name) of my local fish and chip shop had this thing going where if the scrub crowd down the wrong end of the street were a bit short of funds for a fish supper, they knew that all they had to do was give him a bit of a thrill, you know, bit of a feel, heh heh, and they would be quids in, but it's Mr Derwent who was the pervert in court. Not them, so why's that so?'

I do not split skulls because I could go to jail for that, but seriously some people deserve immolation.

I reply with the following pieces of cold, clear logic:-

"I was fourteen, once, and fifteen, and you know what was on my mind the most? The Periodic Table of the Elements. So maybe fourteen and fifteen year olds are all just little wannabe Sheldon Coopers. Especially the girls. Can't stop thinking about differential calculus and the composition of gas giant atmospheres. Is that what you mean?'

'And I bet those girls who wanted in at the big time have had such glittering careers in showbiz that nobody's ever heard of them. What celebrity would ever step forward and say that her career was started by Savile in the back of his filthy trailer?'

"And does that include the disabled kids in hospital that the nurses used to tell the kids they'd have to pretend to be asleep when he was on the wards, because he loved non-moving targets like that?"

'Your Mr Derwent was A FUCKING PAEDO. What he was doing with those kids amounted to child prostitution. Are you HONESTLY telling me that this even COMPARES to Genghis Savile's rampage of FIFTY YEARS across television studios, hospitals and that, taking what he wanted without a care?'

And then, when they act all offended about having been struck down so hard, when they respond with "Well, why did they take so long to respond when they could have said something?' I break them with the following.

'Have you ever give thought one that maybe smarmy charm and an oily attitude may have been his only tool to get his way? You think he never once told a terrified, broken, abused child something along the lines of "You tell anyone, and I'll make sure you, your brothers and sisters and your fucking parents will die. I know people. I know where you live. Breathe a word and they'll fucking come and get you in the night. Hear me?" at all?'

I mean, what part of the words "intimidation" and "menace" don't the morons get at all?

Point being, the police have to investigate every single claim as a victim, non-consenting, pure and simple.

Perhaps at fourteen and fifteen some kids can and do give consent prematurely - I just heard of someone up the road from me whose 14 y.o. kid is pregnant this week - but such premature, rash action is always shocking and horrifying in any civilised society, no matter how far backwards I think we've fallen so far.

But as far as these 450 accusers, I'd be quite happy to lay down a wager that when all the evidence comes in, unless it's a whitewash of a report, you won't find evidence of such ... collusion ... from any of Savile's victims.

Not. A. Single. One.

Perhaps, though, the more succinct "Bullshit!" ought to suffice, because even a hard sneeze could tear through the thin tissue of spurious reason they throw over this whole affair.