Etaoin Shrdlu, Everybody!

I've been thinking about the greetings people offer to one another on festive occasions - weddings, bar mitzvahs, divorces, house moves, the outbreak of war, funerals - all the happy, cheery occasions. There are just too many different festive greetings to memorise.



So I'm thinking that we need a generic, universal greeting that fits every occasion. A greeting that will always be appropriate, and will offend absolutely everybody.



And here it is.



ETAOIN SHRDLU


You pronounce it "eh - TAU - een SHURE -di - LOO."



Make this an essential saying in your arsenal of festive greetings. No more "Merry Christmas," "Yuletide Blessings," "May Baal Be Satisfied By Your Offering Of Virgin's Blood," "Commiserations On Your Loss." Just utter the one-size-fits-all ETAOIN SHRDLU and that is all you'll ever need to say. Instant blessings delivered, whatever the occasion, and it automatically lets you off the hook for having to know the right thing to say to appear civil in public.



ETAOIN SHRDLU.



You don't have to thank me.

Caganerwatch 2013: In Its Natural Habitat

Here's a caganer caught in the wild.

Obviously they have to go through an extensive process of domestication before they can be released into people's homes ...