Things you can put in quotes by listening to TV today:
"- this marvellous piece of Royal Doulton ware -"
"- at a low, low competitive fixed rate of 6.9 percent APR -"
"*audience laughter and applause* And so here we are, once again, for another exciting edition of your favourite quiz show, -"
"- stripped naked, money and valuables stolen from them, their teeth mined for gold, numbers branded on their forearms -"
"- your teeth will be whiter than they have ever been."
"- Please dump him for me. I love you."
"- Try adding the pesto to the mix first, then put it back onto a low heat and simmer for -"
"- and save yourself ten percent when you secure a quote online. Because you never know what might be around the corner -"
"- But you don't know what you're saying. I saw you with Connor the other day! You can't tell me you aren't interested in him -"
"- and you can call this number in complete confidence -"
"- I never saw that one coming! *audience laughter*"
"- over seven hundred thousand men, women and children, led into chambers like these in this one camp alone, and systematically slaughtered -"
"- but what happens when Jenny turns on the computer? *laughter*"
"- What story are you going to read for us today?"
"- human body fat rendered into soap, and their skin made into lampshades -"
"- POWER UP!"
"- You can't do this to me, Michael! I'm pregnant! *dramatic theme music* -"
"- And the next instalment is on, right now, on E4 -"
"- auditions for the next Big Brother -"
"- women had their long hair shaven off in an attempt to dehumanise them. The hair was then sold on to make -"
"- it's never been so easy to buy a timeshare villa. We have thousands of choice locations, and there's guaranteed to be one just right for you -"
"- So remember, you can report a friend for -"
"- none of the faces you see on the screen survived the atrocity."
"- That was a lovely story. Let's sing a song, kids! I know what we'll sing! Humpty Dumpty!"
There are days when the urge to weep for the species is overwhelming.
Never forget, people. It happened to them. Unless you learn how things like this start, there's no guarantees it won't happen in the future to you.