Klingon Phrase

Someone posted on klingon, requesting the translation of a line from Fear Factory's "Obsolete":-

"From Flesh to Steel and Blood to Blade I fight to exist"

The translation I came up with, and I cited references in the Klingon list post, was:-

yan baSDaq porghvo' 'etlhDaq 'Iwvo' je taHlu'meH jISuvtaH

You know, I'm probably gonna get flamed on that list by a whole bunch of scrawny pedants with horn rimmed glasses who never raised so much as a broken wine glass in anger, let alone a great big heavy sword, but you know something? I don't care. The poor guy just wanted a fucking cool motto for the tat on his arm.

And I think I've given it to him.

What say you?

Addendum: If anyone does attack my choice of grammar and syntax, I could reply thus:-

'ach vInIDta'. SoSnI' qan mach puj rur jIbepta'be'. 'ej, Hab SoSlI' Quch.

So there.