What Not To Do ...

... when someone who you know is prone to panic attacks, is having a panic attack, and is screaming for help down the phone:-

- Say "Can't help you."

- Say "It's okay. Don't do anything until Monday."

- Say "You can stop now. It's not funny."

- Say "Oh, do pull yourself together."

- Say "Don't make a song and dance out of it."

- Say "Don't be such a drama queen."

- Say "Don't be such a cry baby."

- Say "Don't make such a holy show, now."

- Say "Look, your screaming isn't going to help."

But most of all.

MOST of all!

NEVER!

SAY!

"CALM DOWN!"

I've been given the shock of my life today. Just about an hour ago. I phoned up my folks, and damn me if they didn't just commit Every. Single. One. of the above sins.

They have been with me my entire life. And still they haven't learned how to handle me.

Holy. Shit.

Since Dogs of War I've had an increased amount of respect for the men and women who serve on the front lines everywhere.

Birthday Bash in Brum

I'll be heading off to Birmingham some time tomorrow. renfield286's birthday is tomorrow, and I thought I'd drop by and celebrate my own b'day (set for Monday).

Directions on getting to the venue.

So I guess I'll see whoever else wants to come along there.

Just to take my mind off pressing matters ...

... that nearly saw an end to me (and no thanks to my folks' drastic failure to communicate), I was looking at XKCD's parody of the Discovery Channel's song.

Here's the parody

And below is the video advert for the Discovery Channel which prompted said parody:-

So here's my parody of the song:-

Astronaut 1: "You wouldn't believe how old ... and dark ... it is."
Astronaut 2: "Yup."
Astronaut 1: "It kinda makes you want to ..."
Astronaut 2: "Piss yourself, run away screaming and crawl under the sheets to hide?"
Astronaut 1: "Yup."

I love the vampires.
I love the feeding here.
I love the frenzies.
I love the taste of fear.
I love this dark world
And all the monsters too
Boom de yadda (x 4)

I love the werewolves
And running with my pack.
I love my wolf form,
Renown scars on my back.
I love this dark world
And howling at the Moon
Boom de yadda (x 4)

I love the mages.
I love the mysteries.
I love Atlantis.
Skel's very hard to please.
I love this dark world
And the Supernal, too
Boom de yadda (x 4)

I love Prometheans.
I love the changeling freaks.
I love the hunters
Who won't be here for weeks.
I love this dark world
Whichever game you play
Boom de yadda [repeat to fade]

ETA: After a quiet consult with a friend on my mobile phone of a possible rewording which might offend far fewer fans of Prometheans, the above words have been changed ever so slightly.

Also, there's more product identification in the revised song.