fiat_knox | The Wizard of Oz

I watched the film today. A guilty pleasure, but understandable in the light that the film has dialogue in it that is just ... so ... damn ... funny. Real and invented alike.

"I can'tgive you brains," said the Wizard to the Scarecrow, "but I can give you a Diploma." Priceless.

"Dorothy always knew the way home," Good Fairy Glinda said, once again keeping her fucking hands clean - no evidence pointing to her sending the twister that brought her assassin Dorothy to Oz, or indeed sending her three Secret Agents to help her along for the ride ...

Trust the sage Scarecrow (no brains, my arse - spot the number of times the Scarecrow came up with the correct answer, displaying Spocklike logic) to come up with the next line: "Well, why didn't you tell Dorothy that earlier?"

Of course Glinda couldn't tell Dorothy. The girl hadn't completed her mission to eliminate her two rivals earlier, had she?

And as for how Dorothy had destroyed her rival ...

"I melted her," Dorothy said, referring to the bucket of water. I could almost hear the dialogue going on behind the scenes right now:

"What did she say? Melted her?"

"Oz said she'd liquidated the Wicked Witch of the West, so it must be true."

"How'd she do that?"

"I have it on good authority from the Horse of a Different Colour's farrier that the girl just tipped a bucket of water over the Witch."

"Water? Fucking water? What was the Witch made of, sugar?"

And so on.

I've got more stuff to turn out before midnight tonight. You don't want to know what I'll turn into by then.