Dream I Had This Morning
Jan. 15th, 2013 09:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fiat_knoxI was a part of some sort of extended travelling family, run by a triumvirate of old matriarchs, adherents to this belief in something called "The Ugly Child." They had a mythology, relics, everything. The relics looked like scrimshaw sticks and little figurines, and they could have been very old ivory.
They and I moved into the house next door to the folks', the old place where we used to live before Dad was forced to sell the old place. I was in the kitchen, watching as the matriarchs laid out the various scrimshaw relics and placed them on a sort of shrine.
A while later, I bumped into a beautiful local girl, and took an immediate shine to her. For some reason, the matriarchs did not like that, so they arranged for the two of us to play a video game, and rigged it so she would win.
Next thing is, the matriarchs were all taunting me, saying things like "Go on. You wouldn't want it to be said that you got beaten at a video game by a girl, would you?" and things designed to drive a wedge between me and this unsuitable candidate for mating. It did not have the desired effect; I figured the game had been rigged, but not by the woman I fancied, and I told the matriarchs what to go and do with themselves. Next thing I knew, everyone was packing up their scrimshaw and making tracks.
In the next part of the dream, I was merely observing as the girl came into the house, which was now empty barring some small items on the kitchen table - a video game, a small figurine, a letter from me and the deeds to the house, signed over to her.
The letter told her that the house has been mine, but I had now signed it over to her instead, and that she should look after it well, and hopefully that it would give her good memories to cherish. I then told her that I and the matriarchs had parted company, and that I was off to find my own fortune. She would not see me here in this place again.
I also told her that the myths the matriarchs had been telling had all been about me. I was their Ugly Child, and they'd wasted half my life secretly trying to cockblock me from falling in love with, and becoming attached to, any woman who came my way because they, in their haughty arrogance, had secretly decided that no woman was ever going to be good enough for their chosen one - their Ugly Child.
Note: From this time forward, weird dreams will be published on my new blog, Perchance To Dream, which will catalogue and document all of my dreams - and possibly some older dreams from before.
Sometimes I will echo the contents of my blogs to this one; but the primary source for all blog entries dream-related will be, from today, here.
They and I moved into the house next door to the folks', the old place where we used to live before Dad was forced to sell the old place. I was in the kitchen, watching as the matriarchs laid out the various scrimshaw relics and placed them on a sort of shrine.
A while later, I bumped into a beautiful local girl, and took an immediate shine to her. For some reason, the matriarchs did not like that, so they arranged for the two of us to play a video game, and rigged it so she would win.
Next thing is, the matriarchs were all taunting me, saying things like "Go on. You wouldn't want it to be said that you got beaten at a video game by a girl, would you?" and things designed to drive a wedge between me and this unsuitable candidate for mating. It did not have the desired effect; I figured the game had been rigged, but not by the woman I fancied, and I told the matriarchs what to go and do with themselves. Next thing I knew, everyone was packing up their scrimshaw and making tracks.
In the next part of the dream, I was merely observing as the girl came into the house, which was now empty barring some small items on the kitchen table - a video game, a small figurine, a letter from me and the deeds to the house, signed over to her.
The letter told her that the house has been mine, but I had now signed it over to her instead, and that she should look after it well, and hopefully that it would give her good memories to cherish. I then told her that I and the matriarchs had parted company, and that I was off to find my own fortune. She would not see me here in this place again.
I also told her that the myths the matriarchs had been telling had all been about me. I was their Ugly Child, and they'd wasted half my life secretly trying to cockblock me from falling in love with, and becoming attached to, any woman who came my way because they, in their haughty arrogance, had secretly decided that no woman was ever going to be good enough for their chosen one - their Ugly Child.
Note: From this time forward, weird dreams will be published on my new blog, Perchance To Dream, which will catalogue and document all of my dreams - and possibly some older dreams from before.
Sometimes I will echo the contents of my blogs to this one; but the primary source for all blog entries dream-related will be, from today, here.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-15 10:29 pm (UTC)I think some of what this dream is challenging are the views you have toward gender equality (you're all for it) vs. the cold hard reality (that there are too many women who still want to make you feel inferior and like the monster because you have a penis. And that there's something in your own psyche (the female side, if you will) that IS cockblocking you because that female side somehow makes the rest of you feel guilty for being a man and having normal, natural wants and desires for women. I think that this dream taking place in a childhood home gives an indication as to when this sort of Mother-Self Guilt comes from (not your parents, mind, but the age at which it started), which would make sense because you were born and a child during the second wave of feminism, which I think we all know created Grendel's Mothers of all women.
The video game is something programmed and something that eats away at the brain and willpower until you're nothing but this programmed thing. The matriarchs were trying to program you through gender competition -- both in that they rigged the game in favor of the young woman and then wanted to destroy your confidence and self-esteem by making you feel "less a man" for being beaten by a girl, thus creating a competitive scenario that should never have BEEN competitive in the first place but was by the nature of the programming, and that you were also programmed to the idea that no matter what you did, you were in the wrong. If you'd beat the rigged game, you would have been berated for beating a girl (thus carrying on some misogynistic privilege) and if you lost, you weren't a man because you were beaten by a girl. It was a lose-lose situation, and the matriarchs were continuing to create their Ugly Child by turning you into the monster they wanted to believe you were because you were male.