Sleep Talkin' Man Sarcasm
Mar. 3rd, 2010 08:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fiat_knoxI'm a fan of this chap called Adam, who talks in his sleep. And the things he says are astonishingly funny.
Here are some examples of his wit and sarcasm. Watch for profanities: I have no control over your offenceometer's sensitivity, and I know some people like it tuned up way too high. These words are not so much for them as directed at them.
"So you want to speak your mind. Be careful you don't use the bit you need to breathe with."
"There you go again, wasting decent oxygen on talking."
"You certainly are incredible. A perfect example of genetics gone wrong. Now go stand in the corner and dribble or do something just as intelligent."
"If you weren't such a fucking prick, you'd be a decent person."
"Just hold that thought for a seriously long, rectum-pinchingly time."
"Why don't you stand in fuck-up corner. You can stay there 'til, I don't know, I-don't-give-a-shit-about-you 'o clock."
"Oh please, give me the satisfaction of closing a door and you leave. You're so good."
"Why don't you make your mouth useful. Say goodbye."
"I know it's a shame that when I walk out of a room it gets just a little bit darker and gray. It's a burden I carry."
"It's a good thing your breath smells of shit. It colors your words beautifully. Gives it an edge."
"Hey, I've got a great idea. You fuck off out of my life forever. Perfect!"
"Imagine waking up next to you every day... One chunder-bucket moment after another."
"Life is precious. I'm not going to just sit here listening to your pathetic fucking dribble."
"You know, it's a human race. And you lost."
"You're more attractive than a seeping anal gash. But only just."
"You know, it's a human race. And you lost."
"You're more attractive than a seeping anal gash. But only just."
"Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you."
"Hooray for me! Yup, I said it. Now the rest of you can join in."
Here are some examples of his wit and sarcasm. Watch for profanities: I have no control over your offenceometer's sensitivity, and I know some people like it tuned up way too high. These words are not so much for them as directed at them.
"So you want to speak your mind. Be careful you don't use the bit you need to breathe with."
"There you go again, wasting decent oxygen on talking."
"You certainly are incredible. A perfect example of genetics gone wrong. Now go stand in the corner and dribble or do something just as intelligent."
"If you weren't such a fucking prick, you'd be a decent person."
"Just hold that thought for a seriously long, rectum-pinchingly time."
"Why don't you stand in fuck-up corner. You can stay there 'til, I don't know, I-don't-give-a-shit-about-you 'o clock."
"Oh please, give me the satisfaction of closing a door and you leave. You're so good."
"Why don't you make your mouth useful. Say goodbye."
"I know it's a shame that when I walk out of a room it gets just a little bit darker and gray. It's a burden I carry."
"It's a good thing your breath smells of shit. It colors your words beautifully. Gives it an edge."
"Hey, I've got a great idea. You fuck off out of my life forever. Perfect!"
"Imagine waking up next to you every day... One chunder-bucket moment after another."
"Life is precious. I'm not going to just sit here listening to your pathetic fucking dribble."
"You know, it's a human race. And you lost."
"You're more attractive than a seeping anal gash. But only just."
"You know, it's a human race. And you lost."
"You're more attractive than a seeping anal gash. But only just."
"Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you."
"Hooray for me! Yup, I said it. Now the rest of you can join in."
