Some Of The Worst Movies Ever Made ...

[fiat_knox]

I have to get this list off my chest. It started off as a forum discussion thread on the Ex Libris Nocturnis boards, but the Black List kind of has a twisted life all of its own. It wants to boast about its dark evilness. So it's here, for all the world to see.

Comments welcome. Hankies and sickbags available by the door.

Battlefield: Earth.

Dungeons & Dragons.

LXG.

Spawn.

The Italian Job - the remake.

Star Wars Episode I.

Eyes Wide Shit (sorry, Shut).

Gigli.

The Postman.

Starship Troopers 1 & 2.

Lawnmower Man 1 & 2 (LM2's suckage factor was worse by an order of magnitude)

Robocop 2 & 3.

Waterworld.

The Bodyguard.

Hulk.

Daredevil.

Street Fighter.

Super Mario Bros: The Movie.

Mortal Kombat I & II: The Movie.

Popeye.

The Shadow.

Catwoman (I know, it isn't out yet. I'm just putting in my opinion now, rather than wait till the DVD release).

Pokemon 1, 2, 3, 4 ...

Digimon: the Movie.

Mission: Impossible, I & II.

Anaconda.

MiB II.

Blown Away.

Glitter.

Thunderbirds.

Judge Dredd.

Honest.

Howard the Duck.

Mister Magoo.

Sergeant Bilko.

Batman Forever.

Batman and Robin.

The Avengers.

(this next is a bit controversial) Kill Bill, Vol I & II.

Cube.

The Cell.

The Hole.

The Facility.

Mars Attacks.

The Ladykillers - the Tom Hanks remake.

Blade and Blade II.

Caddyshack 2.

Apollo 13.

Freaky Friday - The Remake.

I, Robot.

Wild Wild West.

Peter's Friends.

The Nutty Professor, 1 and 2.

Doctor Doolittle, the Eddie Murphy remake.

Santa Claus - The Movie.

Superman III ... and *shudder* Superman IV.

Lifeforce.

An American Werewolf in Paris.

Queen Of The Damned.

Star Trek V: Beyond All Credulity.

Independence Day.

Monsters, Inc.

Help! I'm A Fish!

The Flintstones: I & II.

Josie and The Pussycats (oh dear Great One ...).

The Haunted Mansion.

* deep breath *

Scooby - Doo I & II ...

Comments

The List ...

[fiat-knox.livejournal.com]

Some of the films on the list are plants - they're ones I like, too, but I threw them in for the sake of creating discussion. You tell me some of yours, and I'll tell you mine ...

Re: The List ...

[nematoddity.livejournal.com]

Well, I think I'm going to nab nyghtshayde's idea and post it in my own journal tonight or tomorrow, but in the meantime....

Adore Blade I and II, Howard the Duck, Daredevil, The Cell, Monsters, Inc. and Sergeant Bilko. Can't imagine why any of those are on your list.

I also adore Queen of the Damned, but that one, I know why it made your list, because it really does suck...but I watch it anyway.

Yours?

Mine ...

[fiat-knox.livejournal.com]

Theseare the plants - movies that I liked, or movies with parts in it I liked.

Star Wars Episode I. Well, parts of it. The fight scene at the end. Jar Jar Binks should've been burned on the pyre next to Qui-Gon Jinn, though.

Starship Troopers 1. Except for the overtly Nazi uniforms the officers wore, and Denise Richards whose smile just sets my teeth on edge. Oh, and the FGMP-15 demonstration in the advert right at the end when the trooper blows off the top of a mountain. Loved it. More FGMP-15s, please.

Lawnmower Man 1. Parts. Laughing out loud at that line of "we haven't mastered the Latin alphabet." This IS the Latin Alphabet!

Hulk. Well, parts. A lot of it was too self-consciously comicy for words, but the desert scenes were spot on.

The Shadow. A lot of interesting ideas for my Mage Chronicle came from this movie.

Thunderbirds. Liked the vehicles, thought the Spy Kids plot sucked.

Judge Dredd. I loved the conception of Mega City One. I loathed Stallone as Dredd. I mean, removing his helmet? Allowing Hershey to kiss him? And a clone of Rico who didn't look like Dredd?

Cube. Nicole deBoer as the maths genius was a very nice touch, as was the ending.

The Facility. Whoops, major cockup. It should be "The Faculty."

Mars Attacks. The start of it - the "beef on the hoof" scene. Made me laugh. So did the scene with the Washington Monument and the scouts. The rest, made me feel like someone had tipped an ashtray onto my lap, right into the popcorn bucket.

Lifeforce. Unashamedly due to the scene where Mathilda Mays walks through a lobby without a stitch on. But Patrick Stewart was also in it, and he was awesome. The rest had a very Quatermass feel, but I preferred the Colin Wilson novel, mostly because those space vampires in his novel were the Lovecraftian Ubbo-Sathla, no less.

Star Trek V: Beyond All Credulity. I loved the attention to detail on the Klingon dialogue. It set that whole 1990s Klingon language thing going, so it did. The plot of the rest of it was, well, bad fan fiction.

Independence Day. Just the start of it, when the aliens just nuked NYC, Washington and LA. That was so intense.A shame the rest of it went so Dubya.

That's it, at least as far as the plants go. :)

Re: Mine ...

[nematoddity.livejournal.com]

I can't stand the inherent racism, dumbing-down, or the wide-eyed acting of either of the 'new' Star Wars movies. Love the clothes, though.

I actually liked Starship Troopers, though it was profoundly not the book, up until the misogynistic vulval bug that got gang-raped by medical implementia--at that point, I just flinched and turned away.

Damn it, I liked Lawnmower Man. Though, again, profoundly not the book. Hated the sequel, though, even though it starred Matt Frewer, one of my favorite actors.

Haven't seen Hulk or Thunderbirds yet.

The Shadow...oh, man...Curry acting goofy, Penelope Ann Miller slinky and seductive, the wonderful interplay/male flirtatiousness between the 'good' guy and the 'bad' guy...and knowing that those lines blurred, back and forth...How can you not like that movie?? Got some good ideas for a game....Phhhht. Argh!

Judge Dredd. Okay, sure, they butchered the comic book. I get that. But, taken just from the standpoint of the movie as an independent entity, it wasn't too bad. Plus, as I pointed out, three good actors got to pretend to be Stallone! Hysterical!

Didn't see the Cube yet, really want to, have it somewhere on tape but I don't think it's been unpacked in the new place. There's a sequel, you know.

I also loved The Faculty. Really got under my skin. Maybe I'm highly gullible.

Mars Attacks...Cat and I laughed so hard, we nearly fell out of our chairs a good six times, no kidding. Of course, upon reflection, apparently no one else got what an in joke that film was, start to finish...

Lifeforce I just thought was sort of 'blah', didn't give it much thought...

Independence Day I thought had great actors circling around a really, really bad plot. Kind of like Wild Wild West. Great actors, but not much for them to do, you understand.

The Klingon Language Institute existed a long time before Star Trek V, just so you know. And the KLI is why I've only seen one episode of Enterprise, because they botched Klingonaase so badly in the first episode.