Some Of The Worst Movies Ever Made ...
Jul. 27th, 2004 11:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fiat_knoxI have to get this list off my chest. It started off as a forum discussion thread on the Ex Libris Nocturnis boards, but the Black List kind of has a twisted life all of its own. It wants to boast about its dark evilness. So it's here, for all the world to see.
Comments welcome. Hankies and sickbags available by the door.
Battlefield: Earth.
Dungeons & Dragons.
LXG.
Spawn.
The Italian Job - the remake.
Star Wars Episode I.
Eyes Wide Shit (sorry, Shut).
Gigli.
The Postman.
Starship Troopers 1 & 2.
Lawnmower Man 1 & 2 (LM2's suckage factor was worse by an order of magnitude)
Robocop 2 & 3.
Waterworld.
The Bodyguard.
Hulk.
Daredevil.
Street Fighter.
Super Mario Bros: The Movie.
Mortal Kombat I & II: The Movie.
Popeye.
The Shadow.
Catwoman (I know, it isn't out yet. I'm just putting in my opinion now, rather than wait till the DVD release).
Pokemon 1, 2, 3, 4 ...
Digimon: the Movie.
Mission: Impossible, I & II.
Anaconda.
MiB II.
Blown Away.
Glitter.
Thunderbirds.
Judge Dredd.
Honest.
Howard the Duck.
Mister Magoo.
Sergeant Bilko.
Batman Forever.
Batman and Robin.
The Avengers.
(this next is a bit controversial) Kill Bill, Vol I & II.
Cube.
The Cell.
The Hole.
The Facility.
Mars Attacks.
The Ladykillers - the Tom Hanks remake.
Blade and Blade II.
Caddyshack 2.
Apollo 13.
Freaky Friday - The Remake.
I, Robot.
Wild Wild West.
Peter's Friends.
The Nutty Professor, 1 and 2.
Doctor Doolittle, the Eddie Murphy remake.
Santa Claus - The Movie.
Superman III ... and *shudder* Superman IV.
Lifeforce.
An American Werewolf in Paris.
Queen Of The Damned.
Star Trek V: Beyond All Credulity.
Independence Day.
Monsters, Inc.
Help! I'm A Fish!
The Flintstones: I & II.
Josie and The Pussycats (oh dear Great One ...).
The Haunted Mansion.
* deep breath *
Scooby - Doo I & II ...
Comments welcome. Hankies and sickbags available by the door.
Battlefield: Earth.
Dungeons & Dragons.
LXG.
Spawn.
The Italian Job - the remake.
Star Wars Episode I.
Eyes Wide Shit (sorry, Shut).
Gigli.
The Postman.
Starship Troopers 1 & 2.
Lawnmower Man 1 & 2 (LM2's suckage factor was worse by an order of magnitude)
Robocop 2 & 3.
Waterworld.
The Bodyguard.
Hulk.
Daredevil.
Street Fighter.
Super Mario Bros: The Movie.
Mortal Kombat I & II: The Movie.
Popeye.
The Shadow.
Catwoman (I know, it isn't out yet. I'm just putting in my opinion now, rather than wait till the DVD release).
Pokemon 1, 2, 3, 4 ...
Digimon: the Movie.
Mission: Impossible, I & II.
Anaconda.
MiB II.
Blown Away.
Glitter.
Thunderbirds.
Judge Dredd.
Honest.
Howard the Duck.
Mister Magoo.
Sergeant Bilko.
Batman Forever.
Batman and Robin.
The Avengers.
(this next is a bit controversial) Kill Bill, Vol I & II.
Cube.
The Cell.
The Hole.
The Facility.
Mars Attacks.
The Ladykillers - the Tom Hanks remake.
Blade and Blade II.
Caddyshack 2.
Apollo 13.
Freaky Friday - The Remake.
I, Robot.
Wild Wild West.
Peter's Friends.
The Nutty Professor, 1 and 2.
Doctor Doolittle, the Eddie Murphy remake.
Santa Claus - The Movie.
Superman III ... and *shudder* Superman IV.
Lifeforce.
An American Werewolf in Paris.
Queen Of The Damned.
Star Trek V: Beyond All Credulity.
Independence Day.
Monsters, Inc.
Help! I'm A Fish!
The Flintstones: I & II.
Josie and The Pussycats (oh dear Great One ...).
The Haunted Mansion.
* deep breath *
Scooby - Doo I & II ...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2004-07-27 03:31 pm (UTC)I do agree with you, though, that Josie & The Pussycats is of the pure evil. It is the scariest movie ever made.
The List ...
Date: 2004-07-27 03:48 pm (UTC)Re: The List ...
Date: 2004-07-27 04:18 pm (UTC)Adore Blade I and II, Howard the Duck, Daredevil, The Cell, Monsters, Inc. and Sergeant Bilko. Can't imagine why any of those are on your list.
I also adore Queen of the Damned, but that one, I know why it made your list, because it really does suck...but I watch it anyway.
Yours?
Mine ...
Date: 2004-07-27 04:58 pm (UTC)Star Wars Episode I. Well, parts of it. The fight scene at the end. Jar Jar Binks should've been burned on the pyre next to Qui-Gon Jinn, though.
Starship Troopers 1. Except for the overtly Nazi uniforms the officers wore, and Denise Richards whose smile just sets my teeth on edge. Oh, and the FGMP-15 demonstration in the advert right at the end when the trooper blows off the top of a mountain. Loved it. More FGMP-15s, please.
Lawnmower Man 1. Parts. Laughing out loud at that line of "we haven't mastered the Latin alphabet." This IS the Latin Alphabet!
Hulk. Well, parts. A lot of it was too self-consciously comicy for words, but the desert scenes were spot on.
The Shadow. A lot of interesting ideas for my Mage Chronicle came from this movie.
Thunderbirds. Liked the vehicles, thought the Spy Kids plot sucked.
Judge Dredd. I loved the conception of Mega City One. I loathed Stallone as Dredd. I mean, removing his helmet? Allowing Hershey to kiss him? And a clone of Rico who didn't look like Dredd?
Cube. Nicole deBoer as the maths genius was a very nice touch, as was the ending.
The Facility. Whoops, major cockup. It should be "The Faculty."
Mars Attacks. The start of it - the "beef on the hoof" scene. Made me laugh. So did the scene with the Washington Monument and the scouts. The rest, made me feel like someone had tipped an ashtray onto my lap, right into the popcorn bucket.
Lifeforce. Unashamedly due to the scene where Mathilda Mays walks through a lobby without a stitch on. But Patrick Stewart was also in it, and he was awesome. The rest had a very Quatermass feel, but I preferred the Colin Wilson novel, mostly because those space vampires in his novel were the Lovecraftian Ubbo-Sathla, no less.
Star Trek V: Beyond All Credulity. I loved the attention to detail on the Klingon dialogue. It set that whole 1990s Klingon language thing going, so it did. The plot of the rest of it was, well, bad fan fiction.
Independence Day. Just the start of it, when the aliens just nuked NYC, Washington and LA. That was so intense.A shame the rest of it went so Dubya.
That's it, at least as far as the plants go. :)
Re: Mine ...
Date: 2004-07-27 07:18 pm (UTC)I actually liked Starship Troopers, though it was profoundly not the book, up until the misogynistic vulval bug that got gang-raped by medical implementia--at that point, I just flinched and turned away.
Damn it, I liked Lawnmower Man. Though, again, profoundly not the book. Hated the sequel, though, even though it starred Matt Frewer, one of my favorite actors.
Haven't seen Hulk or Thunderbirds yet.
The Shadow...oh, man...Curry acting goofy, Penelope Ann Miller slinky and seductive, the wonderful interplay/male flirtatiousness between the 'good' guy and the 'bad' guy...and knowing that those lines blurred, back and forth...How can you not like that movie?? Got some good ideas for a game....Phhhht. Argh!
Judge Dredd. Okay, sure, they butchered the comic book. I get that. But, taken just from the standpoint of the movie as an independent entity, it wasn't too bad. Plus, as I pointed out, three good actors got to pretend to be Stallone! Hysterical!
Didn't see the Cube yet, really want to, have it somewhere on tape but I don't think it's been unpacked in the new place. There's a sequel, you know.
I also loved The Faculty. Really got under my skin. Maybe I'm highly gullible.
Mars Attacks...Cat and I laughed so hard, we nearly fell out of our chairs a good six times, no kidding. Of course, upon reflection, apparently no one else got what an in joke that film was, start to finish...
Lifeforce I just thought was sort of 'blah', didn't give it much thought...
Independence Day I thought had great actors circling around a really, really bad plot. Kind of like Wild Wild West. Great actors, but not much for them to do, you understand.
The Klingon Language Institute existed a long time before Star Trek V, just so you know. And the KLI is why I've only seen one episode of Enterprise, because they botched Klingonaase so badly in the first episode.
In a nutshell...
Date: 2004-07-27 03:54 pm (UTC)Battlefield: Earth.
Dungeons & Dragons.
LXG.
Spawn.
The Italian Job - the remake.
Star Wars Episode I.
Eyes Wide Shit (sorry, Shut).
Gigli.
The Postman.
Starship Troopers 1 & 2.
Lawnmower Man 1 & 2 (LM2's suckage factor was worse by an order of magnitude)
Robocop 2 & 3.
Waterworld.
The Bodyguard.
Hulk.
Daredevil.
Street Fighter.
Super Mario Bros: The Movie.
Mortal Kombat I & II: The Movie.
Popeye.
The Shadow.
Catwoman (I know, it isn't out yet. I'm just putting in my opinion now, rather than wait till the DVD release).
Pokemon 1, 2, 3, 4 ...
Digimon: the Movie.
Mission: Impossible, I & II.
Anaconda.
MiB II.
Blown Away.
Glitter.
Thunderbirds.
Judge Dredd.
Honest.
Howard the Duck.
Mister Magoo.
Sergeant Bilko.
Batman Forever.
Batman and Robin.
The Avengers.
(this next is a bit controversial) Kill Bill, Vol I & II.
Cube.
The Cell.
The Hole.
The Facility.
Mars Attacks.
The Ladykillers - the Tom Hanks remake.
Blade and Blade II.
Caddyshack 2.
Apollo 13.
Freaky Friday - The Remake.
I, Robot.
Wild Wild West.
Peter's Friends.
The Nutty Professor, 1 and 2.
Doctor Doolittle, the Eddie Murphy remake.
Santa Claus - The Movie.
Superman III ... and *shudder* Superman IV.
Lifeforce.
An American Werewolf in Paris.
Queen Of The Damned.
Star Trek V: Beyond All Credulity.
Independence Day.
Monsters, Inc.
Help! I'm A Fish!
The Flintstones: I & II.
Josie and The Pussycats (oh dear Great One ...). (it's got Alan Cumming...therefore, I will grimace and watch it for him)
The Haunted Mansion.
* deep breath *
Scooby - Doo I & II ...
(no subject)
Date: 2004-07-28 11:33 am (UTC)Dungeons & Dragons: Like and hate this movie. It was a fun movie to watch, but nothing what it could have been. Disappointing is my best description.
LXG: Love it. I am biased, however, since it does star Sean Connery. I think it could have been done much better overall and I understand why anyone would say they hated it.
>B>Spawn: Hated it. I think that John Leguizamo did a good job, but the rest of the movie bored me.
Star Wars Episode I: Lucas should have left it alone at 3 movies. That's what the books are for!
Gigli <--- Refuse to see: Afleck and Lopez? This was the boobie prize at this years Oscar get together.
Robocop 2 & 3: P-U sums them up. Classic Hollywood style of trying to make more money when they should have stopped after the first one.
The Bodyguard: Love Whitney when she sings. Usually love Costner. They shouldn't have worked together, no chemistry.
The Shadow: I found it too cartoon-y.
Mission: Impossible I: (didn't see 2) Fun movie, but won't own it if I can help it.
MiB II: Another victim of Hollywood. This one seemed so much like the first, it was a waste of money.
Mister Magoo: *gag* Leslie Neilsen needs to stop. He's getting on my nerves.
Sergeant Bilko: I'm not a huge Steve Martin fan, but I did like this movie. Stupid humor can do that to me.
Batman Forever: Again, classic money for sequels.
Batman and Robin: Ditto above and pass the sickbag.
The Avengers: As much as I love Sean Connery, this one sucked to high hell. Almost as bad as 'Cuba' (starring the same) which I couldn't even stay awake for, no matter how hard I tried.
Cube: Love it. The ending is great, and was very, um, informative for ideas on killing D&D characters. :)
The Cell: Like it. Not a movie I love, but I own it and do tend to watch it from time to time. I'm not sure what it is about this movie in particular (certainly isn't the female lead), but I think they did a good job with the whole premise of entering someone else's dreams/nightmares. Good cinematography as well.
The Facility: No. Make it go away...now!
Blade and Blade II: I really didn't care that much for either of these, though Steve did. Something about Kris Kristopherson irks me.
Caddyshack 2: They shouldn't have bothered. The original was a classic that they never should have messed with.
Apollo 13: I enjoyed this movie. I like Tom Hanks and Gary Sinise both. It was an interesting account of what and how things happened then.
Wild Wild West: Cute. But bad.
Doctor Doolittle, the Eddie Murphy remake: Another cute movie that I wish they had done better. Biggest problem here was Eddie Murphy (see comments regarding him in The Haunted House.)
Santa Claus - The Movie: I like it. I think they did a good job at making a plausible new Xmas movie for the kids on how Santa could be around all these damned years.
Superman III Superman IV: Please, make them stop!!!!
Queen Of The Damned: Eww. Loved the book, hated the movie. Bad acting, bad direction, just plain ol' B.A.D.
Star Trek V: Beyond All Credulity: This is my least favorite Star Trek movie (originally speaking). I have to wonder who thought that it was a good idea/plot.
Independence Day: Love it. It instills a sense of patriotism that Dubya could only dream of. I know that may sound weird, but this is what the movie does for me.
Monsters, Inc.: Love it. Very cute, very funny, very well done by the Pixel people. Definitely a different twist on the monster in the closet/under the bed that I wish I had seen when I was younger.
The Haunted Mansion: For a ride being made into a movie, they did a good job with plot. This would have been a great movie, if they only had gotten rid of Eddie Murphy. His 'over the top' acting style isn't needed here and makes me cringe every time he has to open his mouth to speak. But I'm adding it to our collection anyway.
Scooby Doo I & II <--- Looked too stupid to bother wasting the money on.
ADDITIONS!
Date: 2004-07-28 11:33 am (UTC)Harry Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban: Two words, NEW DIRECTOR. This idiot they hired, I realize had a different 'vision', but to take a 'set', that has been established for two movies and FIVE BOOKS, and just change shit around? And then change the ENDING? Was this necessary? No. Next!
28 Days Later: Sorry, where is that barf bag again? Bad. Interesting premise (rage as a virus?), but I really think they screwed it up in the very beginning. They should have gone with the 'alternate ending' that is on the dvd in storyboards. Most of that made more sense.
Secretary: One of my now all time favorites. Not necessarily a good movie, but for me...yes. They did a good job with the 'subject matter' and put it in a positive light. I *must* buy a copy.
Pitch Black and Chronicles of Riddick: Again, neither are what I would consider good movies, per se, but I liked them both.